last 2 papers!

my last 2 papers for prelim one! oh man, all the late nights have been killing me. i wanna sleep more!

Lack of sleep.

Taupok.

i got squased by like 10 people in my class today. all thanks to justin with his taupok idea. at least he got his in the end. ended with a couple of bruises and cuts but it was worth the fun (:, cant help but say it, im actually 16! its kinda sad to see myself aging so fast (i sound old....). time's like one of the fastest things on earth, it can be gone without u even knowing it. and down the road, when im 17^ , i'll be looking back and think, "it seems like i wrote this yeserday =/, it's nostalgic."

anw, after seeing the fun a psp can give you, im caught in a dilemma. get the laptop in which ive saved for so long or get a psp and have like 1k plus to spend..... i really dunno what to choose. if im gonna get a psp i'll have to wait till after O's as i dont want a psp to affect my studies. the laptop wont affect tt much as i need it for music purposes. ahh, why cant i have both? guess im too materialistic. (giving is the ultimate antidote for materialsm, maybe i should try and see if i can help others with a small portion of my cash, which is highly impossible and i think i know why) (:

i cant do human geog, im goona fail ):

16!

16 (:
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exams (:

i rmb a year ago i was embarassing myself from suntec to bishan. sang and cried like shit. guess this year's gonna be quiet due to the exams. i kinda enjoy this tranquility rather, gives me time to think of who i wanna be. one thing's for sure - im gonna be someone i wasnt last yr, develop myself, and become more mature (yea im 16+3yrs old kendra). guess the kiddy days are over, books will be our best friends instead of swings, and libraries/fast-food outlets will be the hot-spots for us now instead of playgrounds. alright, back to studying, goodbye!

Art Box.

exams are around the corner, (for us at least), just 2 more days. strangely, im quite looking forward to it ending, i wanna have a few days break once the exams end. a real break without that much mental pressure. also, i really wanna thank God for the 2nd chance for my HCL, i'll make sure i do my best(:

anw thanks for the mario tortoise hand-held friend =D i really like it alot, hahaha (i totally fell in love with it once i saw it at amk hub last yr)

tuition really sucked today, my teacher is not very good compared to the previous one.. how unlucky. Mrs Chew, please come and teach at my tuition centre? hahaha

also, ric wan asked if i ever considered being a sheperd (not the ones that deal with sheep literally). im not exactly a new believer as i've served for like 6-8 months in 2006, and now im back again at 2008. and also its the year where i have exams. i know there are other sheperds who are also taking O's this year. however im afraid i cant keep this promise i make to God if i ever take up this responsibility. i dont wanna make any empty promises and end up disappointing someone. give me some time and i shall see if im ready to set my heart into take a step further in serving Jesus.

Undo - Rush Of Fools

B3.

我在这次的O水准的考试考到了B3， 感到十分伤心。但我知道我只能怪自己。我有很多时间拉应付这个考试但我把时间花在吃喝玩乐上，不顾着考试的重要性。现在得到了成绩已经太迟了，后悔也没有用。我也许推出高级华文班到快计华文班。我真得很想继续读高级华文，因为我需要在O水准考试的得分更低。不然我就不能去RJC了。经天已当知道自己的分数之后，我不知该如何开口说话。其他铜都问我考的这么样，我只可地头，慢慢的走开。过了一会儿，我忍不住了，偷偷到厕所哭。一回到课室见到同学，勉强笑了几下。我以辜负了自己的期望，从现在开始，我觉得我应该多注重华文，在下次的O水准考试，靠到更理想的成绩。

12 hrs to O results.

okay, my chinese O level results in which i did last year is gonna be out tmr. i hope i get an A (though i know i dont deserve it all all). i dont wanna drop HCL and hv to take it in jc. anw good luck to whoever's taking their results back tmr!

random thought : i wanna wear a blazer (:

Premature.

i had my birthday celebration today though i know its like one week early. but i figured i wont enjoy if its next week (maybe not now too). so anyway i got kinda cool presents - $$$ hahaha, guess i can get my laptop soon (:

recently i dunno why i've been losing my cool so easily. i seldom get so irritated over these matters but these days, i always wanna just shout at the person who irritated me. im having too much frustrations and i guess i dunno where i can channel it to. i thought i could handle it at first, but the frustrations keep building up. i may hv celebrated my bdae today, i dont feel excited at all. there's not even a bit of anticipation. i was like thinking "so what? just another birthday" yes i know i've told others i cant wait.. truth is, i really dont have any mood for it, and its not just because of study pressure.. i dont even know what it is. im just...... feeling dead. Lord father, please lift this load off my shoulders, im feeling really tired, just let me feel alive and not dead. let me be who i wanna be and not force myself to fork out energy to be someone else im not. i wanna be me - joshua

10 10 10.

haha 10 days left people till prelim 1 (: im so sarcastically excited. anw im gonna go on a shopping spree tmr, cant wait!

im gonna get...
new sports shoes
berms and some nice shirts (:

Goodbye titanium!

Now Playing: Michelle Branch - Goodbye To You

Of all the things i've believed in,
I just want to get it over with,
Tears form behind my eyes,
But i do not cry,
Counting the days that pass me by.

I've been searchin' deep down in my soul,
Words that i'm hearin' are starting to get old,
It feels like i'm starting all over again,
The last three years were just pretend,
And i say-

*goodbye to you,
Goodbye to everything i thought i knew,
You were the one i loved,
The one thing that i tried to hold on to.

I still get lost in your eyes,
And it seems that i can't live a day without you,
Closing my eyes,
And you chase my thoughts away,
To a place where i am blinded by the light,
But it's not right.

*goodbye to you,
Goodbye to everything i thought i knew,
You were the one i loved,
The one thing that i tried to hold on to.

Hold on to...
And it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time,

I want what's yours and i want what's mine,
I want you,
And i'm not giving in this time.

*goodbye to you,
Goodbye to everything i thought i knew,
You were the one i loved,
The one thing that i tried to hold on to-
Goodbye to you,
Goodbye to everything i thought i knew,
You were the one i loved,
The one thing that i tried to hold on to.

Oh, oh woah,
And when the stars fall i will lie awake,
You're my shooting star.

anw, my braces are finally off , after exactly 2yr 4 mnths (: though it feels kinda weird to have less stuff in my mouth now. and whilst looking for a retainer design, i think i saw a playboy bunny design, which i thought was kinda cool, but i picked the transparent one as it was $10 cheaper.

sch has started to ease in slowly now, im coping bit by bit, just that the stuff happens to get harder, but i'll work hard =D

Rusty...

heh, i just realised ive been quite rusty with all my question answering now. everything seems like different. its a surpirse how much just 2 mere months can do. i had to write an essay about how i lost concentration which resulted in an unwanted outcome. guess what? i wrote about dodgeball =.= , well.. i really wanna see how that comes out (:

and im removing braces tmr night!!! (maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe...... i hope)

oh how i need an extra 12 hrs everyday which i could split up to

3hr - study
5hr -slp
4hr - food and movies

and then i'll think my white hair wont start popping out anymore.

ahh i should just go watch "friends"

Stress Stress blah blah blah.....

Just how exactly could all my seniors pass sec4? i see so many people "dying" from the weight of the pessure that is placed upon them. My parents may not put that much pressure on me, but i cant assure myself that i will do well. late nights have been filled with academics and when sch day comes, we lose all our mental focus because of the studying and we get the scolding of not paying attention =.= where has time gone? - ALL SPENT STUDYING! how i miss the days where exam was just stacks of paper with tougher questions compared to hwk.

alright, maybe ive not planned well, maybe not. up till now, my subconcious keeps telling me that praising God is a obligation while i have to continuously force myself to keep thinking that its a manisfestation of our gratefulness to God. i think i should start putting aside more time for God. "Though we plan, we fail, because we failed God." thats what i learnt from one of the sermons few years back which i read recently. ugghhhh, the overwhelming pressure in sch is causing me to be like this (inference)

John 5:30 - I can of mine own self do nothing: as I hear, I judge: and my judgement is just; because I seek not my own will, but the will of the Father which hath sent me.

haha, i know recently my posts have been filled with angst, well thats because ive been blogging just after i take a break from studies and the fatigue remains in me. and great news my fellow schoolmates, our teachers read our blog! which means........ one way of relieving stress is gone - ranting about how unreasonable our teachers are. :( for all we know, we might be spending time in detention when any one teacher browses through our blog! (so much for understanding more about us, haha) where's the privacy?

that was then (: (sec2)

and say hello to 2008 (sec4)

TGIF!

well , finally its friday, i can take a break now. sch's been exhausting, im gonna take a break before i start studying , goodbye world! (:

Schedules help, dont they?

i swear im gonna overwork if this continues. im like prioritising everything already and yet, im still stuck here with one more compo to finish and i havent really studied much. there's already so much pressure in less than 10 days of school. i thought i could handle it at first, but now, i realise what some of my friends are feeling right now and i empathize with them. sigh* this has got to stop, i need to stop burning midnight oil.

Botak!

for the record, my cca is like becoming botak club. like 3 ppl are all with the army haircuts with more expected to cut too. huang lao shi keeps calling me oniku now which means monk and it sounds really weird when she says it. well , at least the comments i got from having so little hair was amusing (:

Busybody.

Now Playing: Maroon 5 - She Will Be Loved

Beauty queen of only eighteen
She had some trouble with herself
He was always there to help her
She always belonged to someone else

I drove for miles and miles
And wound up at your door
I've had you so many times but somehow
I want more

I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
She will be loved

Tap on my window knock on my door
I want to make you feel beautiful
I know I tend to get so insecure
It doesn't matter anymore

It's not always rainbows and butterflies
It's compromise that moves us along
My heart is full and my door's always open
You can come anytime you want

I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
She will be loved

I know where you hide
Alone in your car
Know all of the things that make you who you are
I know that goodbye means nothing at all
Comes back and begs me to catch her every time she falls

I love you Lin Dan Wen, you're like the best teacher of the world. poking your nose into other people's business and catching people for hair. ive looked around at those people you've failed and they all had quite decent haircuts. oh well , just my luck.

After so long.....

i had tuition ytd morn and i just realised im like the only guy in class which means im gonna hv less people to talk to now and it makes me so ................alone, gah i wish more guys would join, hahaha (i kinda sound gay)

anw after that i went to church after 1290829812473216340943218741 years. i missed it alot, the worship, the sermons from shirley. it was sth abt planning ahead for 2008 which was interesting considering i never planned much except for my resolutions. towards the end i couldnt hold it in any longer. i cried like mad. its like the first time i had so much tears streaming down my face since..............................primary sch. well , laugh if you want, i dont care, because it was a good feeling to have accepted christ again (:

anw i love the date where the prelims start ---- 28th jan , so much for sweet 16th =/ i guess i need to study even harder now, way harder than week 1/2. alright, off to work , goodbye!

CNY in Singapore!

there is absolutely no way that i am going vietnam for CNY this year. i dont care what you do but i am not leaving singapore. so dont bother nagging or scolding me, it wont work.

(:

my gosh.. i just realised my mum threw away many of my impt textbooks and now i need to waste cash to buy them back =/

anw, i found my bible so that means i can start doing quiet time (: though i dont really know how to start, so if anyone who reads this knows, feel free to tell me! also, im finally going back to yhope this sat after soooooo long. this time, its not gonna be some 5sec interest. and well, let this be the first step i take to fufil my nyr!

1st of school rocks in a totally weird manner (:

Nyr!

alright , ive thought of my Nyrs already but its kinda late, anw i have lesser resolutions than last year but i think im being still kinda materialistic. they're arranged with 1 being the most impt.

1. Try my very best to be more spiritual.
2. Focus more in school and slp at appropriate times.
3. Be less materialistic and less self-centered.
4. Catch up on those whom i've drifted apart from.
5. Better time and anger management.
6. Bother to read my guitar notes.
7. Look harder for a job after the exams.

alright, these are my 2008 resolutions! i remember sth from sunday sch which really applies to 1. and 3. - the true meaning of joy. it isnt entirely a feeling of happiness. in actual fact, J.O.Y stands for Jesus. Others. Yourself. i've been doing the opposite all these time and i guess its time to do something about it. maybe then i'll know what joy means (:




sabai sabai!