DREAMS.

haha, ive finally finished my "dreams" essay, its a good thing i practiced before my eng exam, i managed to use one of the practice paragraph i did in dreams (:

“Maybe it’s best you leave me alone, I do not think we should see each other anymore”
“Why not? Is there a third party? Did I do something wrong? I am willing to change, please do not leave me…I really love you”
“I love you too, it’s just…just…having a relationship right now is slowing me down from reaching my goal, my dream.” She said, retracting her soft and fair hands out of mine. She was already on the verge of tears, trying her best not to break down in front of me, showing off her emotional side. I knew that she has a lot of pride and never liked crying in front of anyone, but this choice she made is tearing her apart, either part of this dichotomy would hurt her dearly. I stood rooted to the ground dumbfounded, this breakup was too sudden, I could feel the loud shattering of my heart, and the helpless cry it let out. This was the first time anyone has ever hurt me so bad, emotionally. A huge sea of emotions engulfed me, forcing every bit of air out of my already fatigued body. Feelings of sorrow, regret, helplessness and shock covered me like a dark cloud, blocking out even the smallest ray of light, that ray of hope.
She left just like that, a few sentences and it was over, a relationship that has lasted for over 4 years, going through thick and thin, and yet, it took only a small ambition to mess it all up, to tear us apart. I did not realize the power of dreams till today, the way it could easy alter people’s mindset, the way it made one choose between love and goals. Due to her dream, her lifelong goal, I had to leave the very woman I loved with all my soul. Her dream took away my all, and made me doubt my reason of living.
Mother nature was not helping one bit. In an act of nonchalant “kindness”, she covered the entire sky with dark ominous clouds and sent a curtain of rain beating down from the heavens. Thunder pervaded the sky and released a cacophony of unpleasant noises, seemingly mocking at my plight. Somehow, losing my confidante also caused me to lose my sanity. I hollered at the sky, screaming at the top of my lungs till every bit of energy was drained out of me.
I felt useless, blaming my own inability to even remain with the woman of my dreams. I gave up my all for her only to be turned down in a harsh manner. With a heavy heart, I climbed to the top of the HDB flat nearby. At the corridor, I gazed at the desolate landscape in front of me. It was painted a dull grey, with the sky full of tumultuous, dark, ragged clouds. I closed my eyes, trying to even pick fragments of the beautiful memories we shared.
“Hey, check her out! She’s hot!” Justin smirked, with an ecstatic look on his face, urging me to take a look. I turned my head at the instant she stepped into the classroom. The boring atmosphere suddenly lit up as soon as she entered. It felt as if the entire room was suddenly bathed in a golden hue of zest and zeal. "Who is she?" I thought, staring intently at her. I was completely mesmerized by her beauty, the radiant smile of this fresh-faced youth. She looked like an angel, fair complexion, bright sparkling eyes that shone like diamonds and long flowy hair. She was perfect as she was blessed with unparalleled beauty. My heart raced as she slowly made her way to the empty seat beside me. "She, my tablemate? This is too good to be true!" my heart rejoiced, and I could not help thinking I was the luckiest boy in the world. Looks of jealously were etched on each and every boy's face as they looked at me, I grinned cheekily as I stood up to introduce myself to her. In just a matter of weeks, we were the best of friends and following that, lovers.
“Snap out of it! Stop daydreaming!” I told myself, letting out a weak smile. It was ironic, here I am, hating how dreams can thwart how people think and yet, reminiscing brought me that short moment of joy.
Dreams, a bane or a boon? Or is it an entity shrouded in controversy? Do dreams provide that sanctuary up in our heads, the place where whatever we wish for comes true, the place we seek solace, the haven in which sadness, death or hatred can never be found? I doubt that now. Having dreams would give one that sense of determination to strive for greater heights, but at what expense? Love? Friendship? Family? I see it now in a different light, as a catalyst that destroys relationships, nothing more. This event has perverted my perception of dreams, I understood.
I leaped off the building, watching my life flash before me. I felt my body going faint, as I got sucked down by gravity. Hitting the ground at such high velocity would certainly ensure I died upon impact, I chose the easy way out – a painless death. “Goodbye Sandy, I love you.”
Dreams, meet reality.

im sorry there'sno paragraphing, and good luck to bballers for finals tmr (: